Dec 17, 2020
Once in a while, we do something that marks a
“before” and “after.”
This list, for me, was one of those things. The
defeated, desperate, broken person I was at the beginning is far
from the determined, risk-taking, brave person who I became by
number 50. And because the list never quite ended, I
simply...
Dec 15, 2020
So much of my life has been spent worrying about what other people think. I stressed over what people would think of how I was dressed, my hair, my makeup or lack thereof, my weight, my shoes, whether the colors I was wearing suited my complexion. Does anyone remember when we had to know what “season” we were?...
Dec 10, 2020
When something is scary, we avert or close our
eyes. We don’t watch. We don’t look at it. We close our eyes and
wait for it to be over, right? Someone will take away the scary or
gross thing, the scene in the movie will be over and you’ll be able
to come out from under the blanket. So when I found out that
what...
Dec 8, 2020
Is there anything scarier than approaching a group
as an outsider? For me, in the moment, I couldn’t think of anything
harder to do. They were having fun and in mid-conversation. All I
could think about was, “What if I interrupt and they stare at me
awkwardly? What if I’m not welcome?” Forcing my legs to
move...
Dec 3, 2020
I’ve spent my life hiding and so much of my list
reflects that fact as I’ve repeatedly fought to break out of that
pattern. It hasn’t gotten easier. I think some things have, the
more I’ve been exposed to them, but not this. I knew I would regret
it for the rest of my life if I didn’t push through my
fear,...